by News Biscuit: http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2014/12/30/man-fights-for-life-in-quality-street-induced-coma-after-festivities-curtailed/
A man is fighting for his life today after going ‘cold turkey’ following a Christmas eating binge.
Dick Scales, 36, a much loved member of sleepy local seaside town
Ringhersham remains in a ‘stable, but critical condition’ following a
sudden withdrawal of festive foodstuffs.
Mr Scales - a self- proclaimed
local celebrity famed for his eating excesses - had boldly decided to
cut down his calorie intake in advance of the ushering in of 2015.
to his dramatic seizure he had been heard to utter garbled references
to ‘Mr Motivator VHS, Celery sticks and Slim-fast Shake’.
Quick thinking bystander Hannah Brice has been roundly heralded as
having saved Mr Scales’ life by swiftly fashioning a chocolate dummy
from a Cadburys Boost and a makeshift resuscitator from a partially-digested packet of Smiths Cheesy Moments while emergency services were
Mr Scales is currently on an Orange Crème and Banana Yazoo
morphine IV drip as he recovers. His physician Dr Carl Parkins praised
Ms Brices’ quick thinking; ‘A reduction of calorie intake of this
magnitude, at this time of the year, this quickly, can be very dangerous
- as this case proves. Festive obesity is not something that can be
Mr Scales, a former member of the under 19’s National Chicken Burger
eating squad, who also still holds the European record for Spicy Nik Nak
eating, had first come to the public’s attention following his failed
world record attempt in 2007 of eating 116 peparami in a 12 hour period.