Monday, October 7, 2013

Finding Your Way Starts With Finding Your WHY

English: Simon Sinek speaking at TEDx Maastric...
Simon Sinek speaking at TEDx (Wikipedia)
by Autumn S O'Connor

I just finished reading the book, "It Starts With Why" by Simon Sinek.

He suggests in business, it doesn't matter what you do, it matters WHY you do it.

He makes a brilliant point that the focus of your business (and I'd like to add that this relates EXACTLY to psychology) should be driven from inside out, not outside in.

You are at a cocktail party and someone asks you what you do.

I used to say, "I'm an existential counsellor and a working artist" which got strange looks - obviously people believed I would either try to psycho-analyse them, or pull out a joint and start chillin'.

Now I say something completely different ...

The WHAT you do, or what you want in life, or what you business does IS NOT YOU. Who are you, really? Shock-horror. I know. We're getting into existentialism! Sinek explains that people have become conditioned to think from the outside in. They say:

WHAT - What should I do?
HOW - How will I do it?
WHY - Oh, yeh, and why is that good?

But he says, we need to embrace the concept of starting on the inside. He says, "people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it".

People are relational - we always seek the why.

Think of your closest friends. Why are you friends? If you look deeply, you will see core values that tie you together. This is what makes the difference between a friend and a stranger. There is trust and a willingness to connect.

So, just as with your personal world, the business world brings together the Why.

This concept of WHY is at the heart of psychology - understanding yourself, understanding the universe, understanding why ... yet getting to that WHY is a challenge.

We have so long conditioned ourselves to ask the what (and formal education doesn't help much in this case either), so we have lost touch with our heart, our purpose, our drives ...

When you know WHY you are doing something, you can either stop or continue it. WHY is love-directed. The idea of finding out your why is based in internal enquiry.

"Why" can provide insight into negative or positive events in your life.

If you know why you keep getting into toxic relationships with men, you can either choose to accept it, or you can grow and direct and move into a happier, healthier space.

In business, if you know why you're making computers, you'll be able to create a campaign that reaches people and changes the world.

Why makes the difference.

It is your values, your purpose, your mission, your true calling. It is the deep longing inside of you to create a better place for your children. Take some time to reflect on your why in life, because your why IS your way forward.

So I guess you're wondering, what DO i say at cocktail parties now? I say, "I inspire and motivate women to live empowered, so she can transform her world".

My passion is working with women, giving them emotional and professional skills development, helping where formal education falls down. Sign up to our free newsletter: http://www.goo.gl/vl7btI and I'll send you an awesome ebook worth $45, to get your life back on track!

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