|Goodbye Stop (Photo credit: Peter Kaminski)|
The way you view things and events in your past, future and your life right now is different to the way everyone else would view those same things.
Nothing is exactly as you perceive them, how you perceive them is YOUR reality but not THE reality.
Do you think Donald Trump would look at a car worth $100,000 and think it is as expensive as you think it is?
Chances are that he would view it as being quite affordable and well within his means.
The same is true with non-tangible things too, your personality creates different emotions in a situation than the emotions would be for the person standing next to you.
Did you ever wish you could change an event from your past that you feel guilty about? Or perhaps someone wronged you and you felt angry about it back then and you still do now?
Whatever it may be, all you need to do to change your past is change your perception of it. Give the event a whole new meaning in your head. Use your mind as a time machine.
To do this, when you think of the event or the conversation that still brings up emotions, step out of it and view it from the view point of a third person.
So in your mind, don't view it through your own eyes as if you are actually in the scene, play it like a movie in front of you. The purpose of this is to be able to view it subjectively rather than emotionally.
If someone insulted you and it still makes you angry, viewing it from this new angle means they are no longer insulting you, they are insulting someone else on the movie screen in your mind. Now you can ask the right questions and get real answers rather than emotional answers.
In this scenario the offender is Person One and you would be Person Two (but you are viewing it as a third person): Why did Person One treat Person Two in this way? Was Person One likely to have treated Person Two in this way if Person One was a peaceful, happy person? If not, then what else may have been happening in Person One's life to cause them to act like this towards Person Two? Did Person One intentionally hurt the feelings of Person Two?
Ask as many questions as it takes until you get to a point where you understand that there were more circumstances in the other person's life that caused them to suddenly snap from all the pressure and you no longer blame them.
Ask questions until you no longer feel any negative emotions regarding the event.
Or until you feel sorry for the other person for the hard time they were experiencing in their life that caused them to treat others with disrespect.
Only when you are sure that you have associated new feelings for what happened, step inside yourself (Person Two) in your mind and double check that none of the old emotions still exist.
If the negative emotions do still exist, step out of yourself again and continue asking questions. If a person has wronged you but has sincerely apologised to you and forgiven themselves for their wrong doing, they have liberated themselves.
Regardless of whether or not they have apologised, if you are still holding that person to blame for a wrong they have committed toward you, the anxiety you are experiencing is in your head and your head alone.
Even if it is not for them, forgive others and free yourself from unneeded anxiety and suffering.
Guilt is another emotion that we tend to hold on to and guilt, just like anger, weighs us down and holds us back in life. If you have harmed someone then you need to let go of the feelings of guilt, learn the lessons you need to learn from the situation, forgive yourself and move on with your life.
Let's say you were driving and there was an accident, someone got hurt and it was your fault. Just like with the first example, step out of the situation and play the scene on the movie screen in your mind, so it will appear as though someone else is driving.
What can you learn from the events leading up to and during the accident itself that you can apply to your life in the future?
Should you drive the speed limit, pay more attention, not talk on your phone while driving, ensure your passengers wear their seat belts, approach intersections with alertness and caution, check your tyre pressure and grip more often, service your brakes more often, reduce your speed when it has been raining ...? Can you share everything you have learned from the event with others to save them from guilt, injury or possibly something worse?
What if you were able to save someone's life through sharing your story, would that make the past accident worthwhile?
You may never know that you saved someone's life, people don't always know when they might have otherwise died because a situation may play out so differently as a result of what they have learned in their past.
So don't sit around waiting to free yourself of the burden of guilt when you finally receive feedback that you have saved someone, just know that through learning and sharing, the butterfly effect will positively impact someone's life in the future.
If you feel so strongly about something from your past that you cannot do this on your own, seek help and go into it with the intention to find a solution and free yourself from your emotional burdens. Two of many options are hypnotherapy and counselling.
I realise that when I bring up a subject such as a car accident that there will be people who have been in an accident that resulted in something far worse than a sore rib or bruised ego.
That 'something' worse than a sore rib may result in a feeling of guilt that is earth shattering for that person, but when reflected on and managed well it can also be positively life changing for them and dozens, hundreds or thousands of other people.
Changing your perception and your emotions regarding events from your past not only changes your past but will also change your future and the lives of others, too.
Nobody would want multiple sclerosis for example, but the first twenty eight years of my life combined were not as fulfilling as the last year of my life has been.
Through my numerous poor (perceivably) decisions from my past I have been blessed in a way that has immeasurably brightened my life and sharing it with others gives me a reason to get out of bed every morning.
This didn't happen immediately though, I had to change my perception of my past. Initially I was upset, fearful and angry! How could I do this to myself? Why me? What did my future hold?
Funnily enough my future held sadness, fear and anger until I changed my perception of my past, learned from it, applied changes and became empowered by it.
You can do this exercise with any emotions. Feelings of victimisation, loneliness, neglect, fear, guilt, anger, hate, hurt, etc.
Go into this exercise with the desire to change, the desire to be happy and with an open heart and willingness for change. Ask the right questions until you get the right answers and are able to change your mind and feelings.
You don't need a time machine to change your past or your future, you only need to change your perception.
May all beings be happy, Curtis.
For more inspirational articles, check out http://curtisandcandice.com
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