Loni is a budding writer living in Noosa Heads lovin' the coast lifestyle
How to move on, heal, step out and find yourself again
A break up. Moving on? Finding the going tough? None of us like it - I'm sure.
That constant dull heavy ache that accompanies your heart for weeks after you have broken up with someone you thought you were going to live 'happily ever after' with. Ugh.
I can safely say that you will move on. Eventually. The sun will shine again! In the mean time you may want a quick refresher. Here's a few do's n dont's to help you on your way.
1. Reach out to your close friends. They are invaluable after a break up. They can help you (once again) believe in yourself. Cry in the safety of their arms.
2. It has been said that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Try to remember this.
3. As one door closes, know that when the time is right - another door will open. Be patient.
4. If there is toxic residue, which is inevitable if there's been fighting and a high level of distress - go have a cleanse. A massage followed by a swim is good or find an alternative therapist who can help you release this. There's lots of remedies out there to help you release this energetic 'gunk'.
5. Be gentle with yourself. Your heart needs time to heal.
1. Jump into another relationship straight away. Rebound. Fraught with problems.
2. Drink too much alcohol and do silly things like send copious text messages or look at their face book page a dozen times! Plus alcohol can make you more obsessive and its a depressant. Be aware of this!
3. In fact, don't look at their face book page at ALL! Best to unfriend for a while. We humans are curious creatures but we do need to be self disciplined when it comes to moving on.
4. Lull around in that sinking feeling more that a * safe* amount of time - you have to make an effort to get out again.
5. Indulge in junk food (icecream/chocolates) for too long - you know your going to beat up on yourself later for having done so.
I remember my son being very upset after one of his break ups. It was the kind of relationship that comes along suddenly and ends abruptly and without warning. I recall saying to him (as he curled up in bed in a bundle of heartache) "in 10 years you will probably have no memory of this night - in 10 years you'll probably be married with kids of your own...".
It takes time for trust to be restored. There are some things in life we cannot fast track. Healing our hearts is one of them. Let's face it - lessons like these are difficult to take on board. But they're important for our growth as evolving beings. It's all good - really ...