Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Muse Awakens

Русский: Анталья. Часовая башня Саат Кулеси и ...                              Image via Wikipediaby Amoon, Escape From America magazine:

I arrived in Antalya, Turkey…

Founded in the third century BC, the city reverberates with an ancient, magical history that permeates every aspect of Mediterranean life. As I wandered the stunning streets that poetically weave in, around and through the seaport city, my footsteps echoed with those who came before me.

It took very little imagination to follow the call of the past and transport myself back in time. I was drawn to Kaleici, known as Old Antalya, like a moth to a flame. Without question, my soul, my essence knew this place.

The stone walls, the old houses built side by side in a charming topsy-turvy manner, the family owned shops offering delights for all the senses – it was all familiar. Navigating the narrow lanes with my internal compass, I decided to trust the unexplainable feeling of remembrance, and granted myself permission to be seduced by what had summoned me there in the first place – my heart.

Love and passion have always been my motivators, yet too often I would choose to ignore the subtle whispers of these messengers.

Wanting so desperately to find my place in a world I adored but seldom felt at home in, I gave precedent to my rational mind that would silence any voice that encouraged me to express myself. To sing out loud. Ironic, considering I am a singer. It was this internal struggle that set the foundation for my journey to Turkey.

My heart had grown weary and bored of my fear of being fully seen and heard, yet I had no idea how to release it. This fear had become a part of my identity, and I had no idea who I would then be without it. Still, my soul was done with the story that kept telling itself in an endless loop. I had to decide between two paths. I could either find a new way of being in this world, or the spark of life within me would burn itself out.

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