Image via WikipediaBy Jill Douka
You are stuck in the road, on your way to a very important meeting. In front of you, there is an elderly man trying to start the engine of his limousine-like car.
You are wondering:
a) What have I done to deserve this?
b) Until what age are old people allowed to drive?
c) Where is the police when we need them?
d) What can I do to resolve this and get to the meeting on time?
e) Let's press the horn to wake him up.
It is likely that you have already faced or will face such a situation. It is also probable that your boss does not like you, that you are fired, or that the weather is bad when in vacation, or that your partner is not in the mood to talk with you about your relationship when you are.
As a matter of fact, all successful people have experienced all of the above, or other more challenging situations, at least once. What differentiates them from the others is the fact that they approach challenges as an opportunity. They act upon them and they make them beneficial for themselves and for the others, in many instances. In other words, they take 100% responsibility for their lives.
Let's see what it means to take 100% responsibility for one's life.
Suppose that there is a given situation that I do not like. Basically, I have two options:
Option 1: Accept the situation;
Option 2: Change the situation.
The truth is however that in real life there are more than two options. We have invented a third one too.
Option 3: Nag about the situation, blame others for it and victimize ourselves.
In other words, blame all others apart from ourselves! Why do we do this?
Because unexpected events call for changes that we are not willing to make because these changes will move us out of our comfort zone. Also, we may become unpleasant to others or maybe we are afraid to take risks.
There are numerous excuses we can use. However, the most common ones are the following: the government, the weather, men, women, unemployment, my parents, rich people, my body, etc.
How about using the winners' formula? According to this formula: Event + Response = Outcome.
As has been mentioned before, we do not have control on events. There will always be something unexpected, something we had not calculated well, and something we do not like. If we led a life according to the expectations of our calculations, then such a life would be far from exciting. Therefore, let's consider events as facts.
In such a case if we want to control the outcome there is only one way: to change our reaction to the event. If we keep on reacting the same way to the events, then the outcome will remain the same. On the other hand, if we keep on changing our reaction to the events, again and again until we get to the desired outcome, then we will most definitely become winners.
Bad sailors blame the weather, bad teachers blame the student, and bad managers blame the employee. Who do successful people blame? They blame nobody, not even themselves. They know that life is a series of different ways of dealing with situations. Therefore, they change their reaction until they reach the outcome they have strived for. They insist.
A very good way to start this change and come closer to our dreams and self-realization is by posing questions to ourselves like the ones that follow: How could I ...? instead of Why? and When? or What could I do ...? instead of Who? Every time you blame someone or something, think of what you would do to change the situation or how you could change your behaviour in order to get to what you want! If you try this for 20 days it is certain that you will benefit from it and you will make it a way of living!
The only person that can ruin my life is ............... fill in the blank and take 100% responsibility of your life!
Jill Douka supports people to take action, feel secure and get the greatest value from their future. She is a coach, workshop leader and author, lives in Athens,Greece, next to the sea, working with clients from 3 continents. She is the founder of http://www.uniquenessdevelopmentgroup.com
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