Saturday, November 19, 2011

Helplessness Doesn't Exist: Being Content or Being Active

Climber on top pitch of Fionn Buttress. The Fi...Image via WikipediaBy Adam Alvarado

The most common thing on earth is helplessness - the idea that whatever we want or need is too difficult, too costly, too risky, not possible; or the belief that you're simply not smart enough, or resourceful enough, or capable at all.

You want something, but you CANNOT get it.

You want to change something, but you CANNOT change.


In some weird way, I think every person suffers from it to some degree. If such weren't the case we would all - every one of us - be doing and living EXACTLY as we dream.

There'd be countless more astronauts, and rockstars, and millionaires, and doctors.

No one would be hindered at all from doing and becoming just as they imagine. Because though whatever path they may choose may be difficult, if they truly believed themselves to be 100% in control of their destiny, the path would be no obstacle at all.


But that most all people do NOT live and work as they dream, there must be some part of them - some belief, or circumstance - which they ALLOW to prevent them from achieving that dream.

The most depressed people have no shortage of obstacles; no shortage of excuses they give as to why they cannot change what, to them, is a very difficult and tortured life. And when you speak to them; when you hear their complaints and worries and hardships and tell them to simply give them up, to do this or that or whatever's necessary to change their circumstances, and lives, and selves, they say: "No. I can't. Because of this and this and this..."


But either you hate your situation or your don't.

Either you hate what's become of your life or you are indeed fine with it.

You cannot have both.

Because the reality is that you don't need to achieve your dreams in life at all. That's fine. You do as you want in your life. No one cares. I don't care.

But neither can you complain about it, if you make that choice.

Because when so much is going wrong in your life, and so much seems so impossible to overcome, and you cry out how unfair life is, or how cruel the world is, you say you want this and that but that you can't do it, you can't even TRY, the first question in my mind is always this: "But what else are we supposed to do?

Either you try or you accept.

Either you do what's necessary in life (non-helplessness) or you be content with your whatever life you now have.

Helplessness does not exist.

Adam Alvarado is the founder of, and principal contributor to, The Last Broken Home, a self development blog dedicated to his journey from teen depression to self esteem and other teen advice.

Central to the site is the idea that all people all people, regardless of parental participation and quality, are raised in an environment that in some way proves an obstacle to their full and complete emotional and mental maturity; that the tendency for anxiety and depression, indecision and stagnation found in most adults is best explained through the learned behaviors of their youth, and therefore best addressed there in others.

READ MORE: Feeling Helpless and How to Think About It

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