Monday, November 7, 2011

3 Quotes to Help With Your Assertiveness

photograph of Robert Louis StevensonRobert Louis Stevenson - Image via WikipediaBy Steve Nash

There's a lot of misinformation about assertiveness out there, don't you know! It's like 'assertiveness' cannot actually assert its true meaning. Or something.

Well, I'm writing this article about assertiveness to help you and me both better understand just what assertiveness is, and why it's so important (in fact, I'd even go as far as saying, that assertiveness could change the world!).

As ever, I have 3 inspirational quotes to help me prove my point - this time, 3 assertiveness quotes. So, that's what I want (from this article) - how about you?...

Assertiveness Quote #1:
"To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive" - Robert Louis Stevenson.

Not just a writer of the finest of novels, Robert Louis S. is obviously a man who understand the importance of knowing what you want (and then asking for it).

To be assertive is to have your soul alive - is it really that important? Well, I think yes. And I speak as a man who, for various reasons, has spent most of his life 'trying to please' others. It doesn't work! Never works. You get short-term gain, yes, but the 'others' always end up disrespecting you, and you usually end up feeling resentful towards them.

That, my dear reader, is what we call a lose-lose situation.

Whereas knowing what you want, being clear, and then asking for it, in a way that respects the other person's wants and needs also, is what we call in the business a win-win situation.

Assertiveness isn't about winning, though. It's about being clear with your communications...

Assertiveness Quote #2:
"The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives" - Anthony Robbins.

So Robert Louis Stephenson talks of saving your soul, and Anthony R. talks about 'quality of life'. If our self-talk is kind and loving, then chances are we can be kind and loving to others.

If we fail to assert ourselves repeatedly, however, we will know this about ourselves and we will start to badmouth ourselves. Also known as a downward spiral (a dizzying, unpleasant space to ever occupy, believe me!).

So if you want a good quality of life, assert yourself - and do it often!...

Assertiveness Quote #3:
"Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are!" - Shakti Gawain.

In fact, don't think of assertiveness as something you do, as Shakti G. talks about, think of it as something you are:
* You are... clear communication.
* You are... knowing what you want.
* You are... asking for what you want.
* You are... always seeking fair outcomes
You are...

Well, if you do all those things - if you understand the importance of assertiveness to your live and the lives of those around you - then you are someone making the world a better place, dear reader, I kid you not.

Seriously, I kid you not...

And should you be interested in learning more about being assertive then please visit this page...
http://www.selfhelpcollective.com/assertiveness-techniques.html

From Steve M Nash - Editor of SelfHelpCollective.com

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